The age old question, split the bills with a roommate or go it alone? Is it just the money that really matters? What about your privacy and personal space? I know, I know, personal space in New York City, hey there isn’t anything wrong with having a dream. You worked hard, you selected the right broker to find that perfect apartment.
Can you really put a price tag on walking around naked in your own apartment? It’s just a God given right. We all do it. You have to weigh the costs and benefits. Saving money, or more realistically, having extra money to spend vs. your own true personal space. It can be tricky. It is so easy to split the rent, what could go wrong?
Awkward Attraction.
This avenue initially appears to be the land of opportunity and then can metastasize into the valley of regret, not always and not immediately. But if you dip your toes into that pond, usually they end up getting muddy.
Attraction just complicates things. There’s no way around it. When it works, you have the best of both worlds. When it doesn’t, you have the 1960’s cold war all over again between the U.S. and the old U.S.S.R. Things can get real ugly, real quick. I would not recommend it. It is just not worth it, no matter how tempting.
Are you the Murder Victim or the Suspect?
We all have friends like this. The altruistic, NYC resident that believes all people are good. They ignored your pleas for reason and posted an ad for a roommate. They still think that Craigslist is a secure marketplace. You jokingly add that they should also post the listing on murderme.com to get the most responses.
Come on people, how could you have made it this far in life, and post an ad to live with a perfect stranger? Or answer one for that matter? No matter how good it appears to be when you first meet them, you can’t just jump in.
Whether you will admit it or not, we have all been up late at night watching TV and stumbled across one of the ten Law & Order series that shows reruns at all times of day. Some bad stuff happens on those shows. I know it’s a scripted television show, but the writers take current events in everyday life to help create some of the show concepts.
It rubs the lotion on its skin, if your roomie tells you that one day, hit the road jack. What about the flip side? What if you are the crazy one, and your poor roomie is the unsuspecting victim?
Best Friends.
Whether you two grew up together or you have been best friends for a short time, living together is a sure way to test your friendship. It doesn’t mean you are going to have a fight to the death, but you have to realize that you are changing the dynamics of your friendship.
You were friends at work, school, or just out and about socially. Now you are friends – best friends – at your sanctuary. There is no personal space except behind a bedroom door. You may come to find that your best friend is amazing outside of those four walls, but within those walls, you realize that you just want to hit an eject button.
Who else would use your toothpaste, take care of business (think like an elementary school kid here, yup that’s exactly what we are discussing) right before you’re about to jump in the shower, and eat the last of the cinnamon toast crunch?
Dammit, they knew today was your big day. What kind of monster are you living with? The answer to that question, is your best friend. So if anyone is to blame, I guess it’s your fault for not picking better friends.
Decision Time.
I admit that what I have gone through above are some of the more extreme examples. However, there will be a point in time where you may experience a version of this (hopefully less extreme for your sake). A roommate does serve a purpose, sometimes, but you just have to walk into it knowing the risks.
Unfortunately, I think the random roommate (whether you advertised or you are answering the advertisement) is just a bad idea. You have to know the person beforehand. It’s safer, and hopefully this gives you a better idea of what kind of person you will be living with.
Are they sleep walkers, promiscuous, or are they dirty and unorganized? Best friends won’t work either. It may seem like a great idea in the beginning, but so much interaction in so little space could result in rubbing each other the wrong way. That would mean losing not only your personal refuge, but also a good friend.
I am a big believer that home is supposed to be a sanctuary. As the number of people in your personal space increases, it becomes less home and more a continuation of the party. If you do decide to get a roommate, my recommendation is to go with a friend that you aren’t attracted to and you know isn’t the subject of an open murder investigation.
