In the stark hours of the morning of December 28th, I received a call from a lady claiming to be Beyonce’s 8th assistant in charge. I am a skeptic in most things in life so I asked her a question only someone close to Beyonce would know.
“What is Beyonce’s favorite food?”
Her assistant did not miss a beat with her response.
“Lady Gaga’s career, of course.”
Nailed it.
The assistant went straight to business, explaining that Queen B. would be spending a year in NYC working on her new project, having her music delivered by storks to everyone in America. No big deal, B. She needed a place to live that fit her needs as well as the needs of her future roommate and air space expert, Buzz Lightyear.
I agreed to help. Mostly because I wanted to see the She-Beast in person.
Okay this story is 100% fake, but can’t a guy dream? In all honesty, I wanted to update our readers about what’s on the celebrity-class real estate market and thought who better to use as example renters than Beyonce and Buzz Lightyear? So here goes:
Apartment Guidelines:
Budget: $20,000/mo
Area: Jay Z will only visit “down to Tribeca”, but don’t worry, “He’ll be hood foreva.”
Move Date: February 1st
Bedrooms: 3 (3rd bedroom for B.’s media shrine)
Bathrooms: 2
Requirements: She needs storage space for all of the failed pop proncess souls (Willa Ford, Mandy Moore, Danity Kane, etc). Buzz needs outdoor space.
This is what I found!
Do you think she will like it?!
